Am I moving too fast?

It’s barely been a week since you met this charming guy and he is already making your head swell. You’ve got him crowding your Facebook statuses, you’re talking about him on your WhatsApp updates, and his face is the customized profile photo on all the social channels you subscribe to.

In just 4 weeks he already has access to your emails, passwords and text messages. He’s kissing, hugging and having his body all over you. Prince charming now decides the kind of parties you attend and the company of friends you should keep. He is cutting off your old buddies and you’re cool with it, you don’t mind, you just love him. He has you asking his permission before doing anything, and it’s alright, you like how he’s taking the lead as a real man! You’re talking about him with your friends and everyone in your inner cycle. Your mom already knows, dad knows, your pastor knows, but you know no one in his family besides his cousin, and that too is cool with you right? You guys are already talking about  meeting his family, although he just wants to take it slow yea? You just cannot wait to be introduced, ain’t it? 😕😕

I know the first few months of that relationship has been one of the best experience you’ve had in a very long while, you’ve idealized and painted beautiful pictures of how Alex is the sweetest, funniest, nicest and the most coolest guy you’ve ever met, and you believe this one is going to be different from all the others you have dated in the past. He’s so cute and caring and you’re getting those butterfly in your stomach feelings that you would marry him right now if he falls on his knees to ask you sweetly.

But wait dear Kate, before you start moving too fast I would like for you to understand this;

The early stage of a relationship is usually the most confusing and the most misleading phase of love. You know how it is when you first met that special someone, the emotions burning through your vains are usually so high that it gives you no room to think or focus on the true quality of the person. Here, the love is usually the strongest, because you’re both trying to meet the expectations of the other. You will both be eager to do anything for each other, catch a grenade, jump in front of a moving train, put your hand in the blade, let go of your friends, cut out your own social life, submit to everything your partner says, because all you’re thinking about here is how to impress and keep them happy.

Your partner will call to check on you 5 times a day, even when calling is clearly not their thing. They will google all the romantic text messages they can find to keep you smiling, even when texting is not their strongest quality. They will initiate and plan all the hangouts because there is a rush in their vains to spend all the time in the world with you. In all of these love jamboree, you will give yourself no room to see their faults, weakeneses and shortçomings. They’re too perfect, too complete, too caring, too loving, that is all you see, the LIGHT sides of each other that has perfectly overshadowed the DARK sides. And you know how it goes a few months later, sometimes even weeks, when the light starts to fade out, their true quality becomes clearer to you, their every hour calls becomes a traditional one call a day at night. Their I LOVE YOU romantic text messages slowly changes to “please call me”. Here you must have invested so much in the relationship to even consider walking backwards, you probably must have had sex with Alex countless times in the rush. So now you just keep loving, hoping that one day things will go back to how it was the very first time.

Don’t put yourself in this condition dear Kate, or dear Alex because this usually goes both ways. Don’t move too fast, give that young love a chance to get tested, give yourself a chance to really get to know the person you’re loving. Trust me, when you’re with the right person, with all the right qualities that you accept in them, the emotions will never end.

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